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Why Manners Matter
Societies develop around codes of conduct that prevent others from being hurt physically or emotionally. Manners and etiquette are our codes of conduct that govern social behavior according to accepted norms and traditions. Each society has developed its own set of rules. So, some people bow to one another and some people shake hands. If you behave outside of the accepted ways, you will probably not be punished, but will most likely garner social disapproval.
Manners ease the stress of living together and mannerly behavior recognizes the rights of others and the care of common spaces. There are three important ideas behind the good manners we use today: custom, consideration and common sense.
How to Have Good Manners
Most people will pick up good manners from being around polite people. The following are some steps to teach your child so that he or she can stay within our social norms.
Watch others. Do as the majority or the adults are doing.
Remember the “Golden Rule” and treat people in the manner that you would like to be treated.
Acknowledge gifts and kindnesses.
Avoid behaviors and noises that could distract or annoy others.
Obey posted rules and regulations.
Parents can approach manners as a game. One night a week, try to have a formal dinner. Make everyone in the family dress for the occasion and practice their social graces. Let your children attend part of your adult gatherings to greet guests and/or serve them. When manners are breached, quietly and calmly explain what the expected and accepted behavior should be.
Make sure that your children realize that manners are for others. When no one is watching, they can behave differently. For example, they can lick the ice cream bowl clean!
Types of Manners
Table manners are often considered to be the most important at home. It is hard to enjoy a meal when children are burping and slurping through it! Teach your child the proper way to eat and act at the table.
It is important to have good manners away from the table, too. Teach your child to knock on closed doors, to respect the property of other family members and not to discuss family affairs with non-family members.
Teach your child to be a good guest. This would include not showing up unexpected, not overstaying your visit, offering to help, and cleaning up after yourself.
Telephone, Internet and texting manners will be very important for this generation. Teach your child not to slam a phone, not to eat while on the phone, not to make late night calls and to take written messages for other family members. Instill in them that chatting and texting may seem anonymous, but typed words should be just as polite and kind as spoken ones.
While in public, teach your child to walk on the right side of the sidewalk, not to point or stare at others, to pick up litter and to stay off of the grass.
When your child is a member of an audience, teach him to sit quietly during the performance. In theatres, noisy devices like pagers, cell phones or clinking jewelry should be left behind. Your child should know to stay in his or her seat while house lights are down. Personal conversations are rude and distracting, but make sure your child knows to laugh and applaud when appropriate.
You have most likely already dealt with most of these situations, but remember that children need frequent reminders. One of the best ways to teach manners, other than practicing good manners yourself, is to role-play. Take the role of a host, guest, person on the street or someone on the phone. Have a mock conversation or act out an encounter. This approach to teaching manners keeps you from having to “nag,” gets your child’s full attention and gives your child some quality, one-on-one time with you.
Manners to Teach
Always wait for people to get off of an elevator before you attempt to get on.
Hold a door open for the elderly or for anyone with their hands full.
Say the magic words: “please” and “thank you.”
Always ask for permission to use something that is not yours.
Put things up. Don’t just put them down.
Always answer questions from adults with honesty and politeness.
Smile at others.
Offer to help whenever you can.
Keep your voice and your facial expressions pleasant during a conversation.
Clean up after yourself.
Walk—don’t run—in public buildings.
Obey posted rules, regulations, traffic signals and warnings.
Wash your hands before a meal.
Leave a rest room clean.
Do not deface walls, other’s property or books with graffiti.
Wear clothing suitable for the occasion.
Chew food with your mouth shut.
Arrive on time when expected, or let someone know that you are going to be late.
Write “thank you” notes for gifts.
Offer to help those in need.
Greet relatives, friends and acquaintances with warmth and respect.
Avoid disturbing others with unnecessary or vulgar noise.
If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.

21st Century Community Learning Centers of Elmore County Public Schools
Eclectic Middle School Site Director: La’Tresia Robinson 170 South Ann Street Eclectic, AL 36024 334-541-2131
Holtville Middle School Site Director: Amy Stewart 655 Bulldog Lane Deatsville, AL 36022 334-569-1596
Millbrook Middle School Site Director: Ayena Jackson 4228 Chapman Road Millbrook, AL 36054 334-285-2100
Wetumpka Middle School Site Director: Ewell Fuller 1000 Micanopy Street Wetumpka, AL 36092 334-558-7869
21 CCLC Project Office Project Administrator: Carol Kelly ECTC - 800 Kelly Fitzpatrick Drive PO Box 817 Wetumpka, AL 36092 334-399-4013
The 21st Century Community Learning Centers (21CCLC) initiative is the only federal funding source dedicated exclusively to after school programs. An initiative of the NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND act, the 21CCLC programs of Alabama are supervised and administered by the Federal Programs department of the Alabama State Department of Education.

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It’s Apparent!

Manners
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Elmore County 21st Century Community Leaning Center Parenting Tips #08